I’m realizing me and my friend (and roommate) don’t really have anything in common. He doesn’t have any hobbies, purposely doesn’t keep up with current events unless they’re on instagram, and doesn’t watch tv/movies. We often don’t have anything to talk about anymore, after 6 months of living together. He is/was closest friend here so I’m feeling a little bummed by it. I’m going to keep trying to find some commonality. For me, that’s important in a friendship.
I started listening to the "trapped in treatment" podcast that another user mentioned on another thread. It's really good, but I can't stop crying. I'm only two episodes in, and I'm listening to it with my spouse so that helps, but fuck me does it hit hard. One person mentioned on it that their parents now understand it was a mistake to send them there and that its their parents biggest regret, and it just broke me. I wish my parents felt that way. My spouse suggested that I send my mom the podcast when we finally get through it, but I don't know if that would do anything but hurt my mom, and I feel like there's been enough pain in my family that maybe I shouldn't be beating a dead horse in the hopes of some kind of catharsis that almost most definitely won't happen.
I realized 2 weeks ago that my SNRI is not an option. By the time I stopped it I was only eating every other day and wasn't sure if I would ever leave the house again.
This week I'm feeling much better. I'm eating a bit more. My rescue anxiety meds work again. Slowly digging myself out of the depression hole. I'm mad at myself for letting it get so bad before I realized what was happening, but proud of myself for surviving it again. I really didn't think I would. I'll be ok.
Doing alright with a mix of good and bad to be quite honest. A short-ish rant incoming.
Main good highlight is I've been meeting up with my old high school friends every few days as we've all moved back in with our parents after college and all work remotely. We don't have the deepest friendship but its fun to just hang out, talk shit about each other to each others' faces and just chill. Brings back good memories from high school and none of us have really changed much since then.
The main bad for me is that I feel like I've kinda gone backward in life. After graduating college, I moved back in with my parents. Since I work remotely and rent costs are rising, it made a lot of sense to just move in with my parents. While the savings has been nice, it's taken a toll on my mental health. In my final year of college, I had a 1 bedroom apartment and I really came to love living by myself and being in complete control of my life and having that freedom. However, I gave up all that freedom when moving back in with my parents and I absolutely hate it. I just feel like I'm in high school again with my parents constantly nagging me to do things and being pushed learn more and do better. My dad in particular has become extremely annoying recently as he is constantly nagging me to learn everything computer related. AI, Blockchain, Web 3, LLMs, data science, etc. You name it, he's told me that I NEED to learn it otherwise I will struggle in the near future. I'm still rather burnt out from school and feel happy with where I am but my dad just doesn't seem to understand that. I get that he means well and wants the best for me but man, I just want to move out. I tried bringing up the idea of moving out with my parents before and they got rather depressed at the idea so I've been kinda avoiding the topic. I do hope to rip off the bandaid for this topic soon as I want to move out at the beginning of next year. The financial hit is worth it if my mental health improves.
I've got a pinched nerve down my back and it has been weeks. The pain is insane. I can only stand or lie down. Sitting hurts. But I can't lie down for too long either because that hurts too.
Standing is the most comfortable, but of course I get tired standing all day. So I alternate between standing and lying down.
I went to the pool to walk in the water and made the mistake of going too deep and making the pain way worse from the pressure of the water.
I tried again and stayed at the shallower end and made sure the water was at chest height. I don't know if it helped.
I have a heat pack that I use very often whenever I need a break and lie down.
My vision is also kind of blurry.
Doctors have given me pain killers and all that but ihe pain is still pretty bad.
Those of you who have handled this before, how did you manage it and how long did it take for it to heal enough so that it's not insane pain.
Does anyone else struggle with internalizing and implementing advice that you know you should be following?
I am new father of an incredible little toddler who brings me the greatest joy I've ever known. Looking into the future, I have so many dreams of activities and interests to eventually share with my son as he gets older. However, I am also quite overweight and a bit alcoholic... factors that threaten my lifespan and may prevent me from ever seeing those aspirations come to fruition. I know that I should stop drinking and should diet to improve my long term health, but I just can't summon the strength to do so. I've always lived without consideration for my own health, because I never really valued my life. I was always just living on my own and never thought that I would have a family that could be hurt by my death. Yet, even now with them depending on me, I struggle to find the motivation to make tough changes that I know need to be made.
I think the biggest problem for me is that there's no way to really feel like I've made any progress with such a long term and abstract goal. Basically, I'm winning as long as I've lived another day. So it's hard for me to resist buying another 12 pack, or having another helping of food. It feels good in the short term and I know that I won't see any quantifiable long term results for years or possibly decades. How do you motivate yourself to make changes in your life when you won't even know if you will ever see the benefits? And why, despite having so much love for my family, can I still not find that motivation myself?
I finally got diagnosed for ADHD in my 40s, I had long suspected, but due to anxiety of getting a referral and making phone calls to book an appointment, I let intrusive thoughts saying that I just wanted an excuse and I truly was just lazy get the better of me. ADHD was still not well understood when I was a kid so my teachers and parents had repeated the standard lines of "great potential if he wasn't so lazy/careless and paid more attention" or "why can't you just focus on X when you can focus all day on your Y" all my childhood and I let myself believe it.
My wife had heard of a group that lets you do a self assessment then book a professional assessment online and they just call you instead of having to make calls and go to appointments in person. It was like a godsend to bypass that initial barrier. When I finally talked to a professional for over an hour about my history it was so silly how much a slam dunk diagnosis it was. In the end I presented with something like 8/9 indicators for inattentive and 5/9 for hyperactive.
What came next I wasn't prepared for relief that I was finally seen, but also a lot of regret and grief for how much of my life was wasted trying to overcome this issue without any help and trying to hide it, especially in professional settings. Wondering what I could have done if I had just been able to focus on my goals. Though it's tempered with the knowledge that I might not know my wife and child had I gotten help in my than my 20s.
It's been about a month since I started medicating and at first I didn't think it was really helping until I went off my meds for a weekend because I was just lazing about the house, and wow, I was unable to do a single thing without getting sidetracked, with the exception of one task that I really shouldn't have been doing in the first place, some admin stuff for my job which I hyper focused on until my wife came to see if I was going to rejoin the family at any point.
The other effect of my meds I had not expected was that my anxiety around large public gatherings all but disappeared. We were attending a wake for a school friend of my wife's and on the taxi there I have realized I was as calm as being at home watching tv. That was a very first for me, I cannot remember the last time I didn't dread going to a formal occasion with a bunch of people I didn't know. I suppose being unfocused allowed for the intrusive thoughts to seep in and just jump from one ot the next without ever deciding on whether they were worth worrying about or block them out completely.
When I last checked they confirmed, based on my check-in assessment, that my anxiety and depression levels had basically dropped off to nothing. And taking a little more stock I've been able to accomplish my work tasks without nearly as much social media distractions or needing aids like music/background television. I honestly feel pretty great.
I’m realizing me and my friend (and roommate) don’t really have anything in common. He doesn’t have any hobbies, purposely doesn’t keep up with current events unless they’re on instagram, and doesn’t watch tv/movies. We often don’t have anything to talk about anymore, after 6 months of living together. He is/was closest friend here so I’m feeling a little bummed by it. I’m going to keep trying to find some commonality. For me, that’s important in a friendship.
I started listening to the "trapped in treatment" podcast that another user mentioned on another thread. It's really good, but I can't stop crying. I'm only two episodes in, and I'm listening to it with my spouse so that helps, but fuck me does it hit hard. One person mentioned on it that their parents now understand it was a mistake to send them there and that its their parents biggest regret, and it just broke me. I wish my parents felt that way. My spouse suggested that I send my mom the podcast when we finally get through it, but I don't know if that would do anything but hurt my mom, and I feel like there's been enough pain in my family that maybe I shouldn't be beating a dead horse in the hopes of some kind of catharsis that almost most definitely won't happen.
I realized 2 weeks ago that my SNRI is not an option. By the time I stopped it I was only eating every other day and wasn't sure if I would ever leave the house again.
This week I'm feeling much better. I'm eating a bit more. My rescue anxiety meds work again. Slowly digging myself out of the depression hole. I'm mad at myself for letting it get so bad before I realized what was happening, but proud of myself for surviving it again. I really didn't think I would. I'll be ok.
Doing alright with a mix of good and bad to be quite honest. A short-ish rant incoming.
Main good highlight is I've been meeting up with my old high school friends every few days as we've all moved back in with our parents after college and all work remotely. We don't have the deepest friendship but its fun to just hang out, talk shit about each other to each others' faces and just chill. Brings back good memories from high school and none of us have really changed much since then.
The main bad for me is that I feel like I've kinda gone backward in life. After graduating college, I moved back in with my parents. Since I work remotely and rent costs are rising, it made a lot of sense to just move in with my parents. While the savings has been nice, it's taken a toll on my mental health. In my final year of college, I had a 1 bedroom apartment and I really came to love living by myself and being in complete control of my life and having that freedom. However, I gave up all that freedom when moving back in with my parents and I absolutely hate it. I just feel like I'm in high school again with my parents constantly nagging me to do things and being pushed learn more and do better. My dad in particular has become extremely annoying recently as he is constantly nagging me to learn everything computer related. AI, Blockchain, Web 3, LLMs, data science, etc. You name it, he's told me that I NEED to learn it otherwise I will struggle in the near future. I'm still rather burnt out from school and feel happy with where I am but my dad just doesn't seem to understand that. I get that he means well and wants the best for me but man, I just want to move out. I tried bringing up the idea of moving out with my parents before and they got rather depressed at the idea so I've been kinda avoiding the topic. I do hope to rip off the bandaid for this topic soon as I want to move out at the beginning of next year. The financial hit is worth it if my mental health improves.
I've got a pinched nerve down my back and it has been weeks. The pain is insane. I can only stand or lie down. Sitting hurts. But I can't lie down for too long either because that hurts too.
Standing is the most comfortable, but of course I get tired standing all day. So I alternate between standing and lying down.
I went to the pool to walk in the water and made the mistake of going too deep and making the pain way worse from the pressure of the water.
I tried again and stayed at the shallower end and made sure the water was at chest height. I don't know if it helped.
I have a heat pack that I use very often whenever I need a break and lie down.
My vision is also kind of blurry.
Doctors have given me pain killers and all that but ihe pain is still pretty bad.
Those of you who have handled this before, how did you manage it and how long did it take for it to heal enough so that it's not insane pain.
Does anyone else struggle with internalizing and implementing advice that you know you should be following?
I am new father of an incredible little toddler who brings me the greatest joy I've ever known. Looking into the future, I have so many dreams of activities and interests to eventually share with my son as he gets older. However, I am also quite overweight and a bit alcoholic... factors that threaten my lifespan and may prevent me from ever seeing those aspirations come to fruition. I know that I should stop drinking and should diet to improve my long term health, but I just can't summon the strength to do so. I've always lived without consideration for my own health, because I never really valued my life. I was always just living on my own and never thought that I would have a family that could be hurt by my death. Yet, even now with them depending on me, I struggle to find the motivation to make tough changes that I know need to be made.
I think the biggest problem for me is that there's no way to really feel like I've made any progress with such a long term and abstract goal. Basically, I'm winning as long as I've lived another day. So it's hard for me to resist buying another 12 pack, or having another helping of food. It feels good in the short term and I know that I won't see any quantifiable long term results for years or possibly decades. How do you motivate yourself to make changes in your life when you won't even know if you will ever see the benefits? And why, despite having so much love for my family, can I still not find that motivation myself?
I finally got diagnosed for ADHD in my 40s, I had long suspected, but due to anxiety of getting a referral and making phone calls to book an appointment, I let intrusive thoughts saying that I just wanted an excuse and I truly was just lazy get the better of me. ADHD was still not well understood when I was a kid so my teachers and parents had repeated the standard lines of "great potential if he wasn't so lazy/careless and paid more attention" or "why can't you just focus on X when you can focus all day on your Y" all my childhood and I let myself believe it.
My wife had heard of a group that lets you do a self assessment then book a professional assessment online and they just call you instead of having to make calls and go to appointments in person. It was like a godsend to bypass that initial barrier. When I finally talked to a professional for over an hour about my history it was so silly how much a slam dunk diagnosis it was. In the end I presented with something like 8/9 indicators for inattentive and 5/9 for hyperactive.
What came next I wasn't prepared for relief that I was finally seen, but also a lot of regret and grief for how much of my life was wasted trying to overcome this issue without any help and trying to hide it, especially in professional settings. Wondering what I could have done if I had just been able to focus on my goals. Though it's tempered with the knowledge that I might not know my wife and child had I gotten help in my than my 20s.
It's been about a month since I started medicating and at first I didn't think it was really helping until I went off my meds for a weekend because I was just lazing about the house, and wow, I was unable to do a single thing without getting sidetracked, with the exception of one task that I really shouldn't have been doing in the first place, some admin stuff for my job which I hyper focused on until my wife came to see if I was going to rejoin the family at any point.
The other effect of my meds I had not expected was that my anxiety around large public gatherings all but disappeared. We were attending a wake for a school friend of my wife's and on the taxi there I have realized I was as calm as being at home watching tv. That was a very first for me, I cannot remember the last time I didn't dread going to a formal occasion with a bunch of people I didn't know. I suppose being unfocused allowed for the intrusive thoughts to seep in and just jump from one ot the next without ever deciding on whether they were worth worrying about or block them out completely.
When I last checked they confirmed, based on my check-in assessment, that my anxiety and depression levels had basically dropped off to nothing. And taking a little more stock I've been able to accomplish my work tasks without nearly as much social media distractions or needing aids like music/background television. I honestly feel pretty great.